Bye Bye Nookie

Sierra has been sucking on a pacifier since she was born. She loves her "Nookie," as she calls it. About a month ago I noticed a rash above her upper lip. The rash just wouldn't go away no matter what I used on it, so I took Sierra to the doctor. He said it was a rash caused by a fungus which probably grew at night on her lip because of the pacifier. He told me I would have to take her "Nookie" away. His exact words were, "Heidi, it will be hard, but deal with it." So, that day I tried not giving her her pacifier. At night I broke down and gave it to her. The same thing happened the next day. Then my mom said that it wasn't Sierra's addiction, it was mine and I knew she was right.

I was so used to giving Sierra her pacifier to calm her down that I gave in every time she asked for it (I mean whined for it). So, Tuesday night she started crying for her "Nookie" and she was getting mad that I wouldn't give it to her, so I went to get it. On my way to the kitchen I felt that I should just kill the "Nookie." So, I took some scissors and cut the nipple off the pacifier, then I took it to her. She was still mad and crying and then when she saw the pacifier in my hand she got a little quiet. She took the pacifier and reallized it wasn't the same. I told her that her pacifier was broken and now there's no more pacifier. She tried to put it in her mouth, but it didn't work. Then she started crying again, only this time it was a very sad cry. It was like she was mourning the loss of her best friend. She just kept crying, "Nookie! Nookie!" I finally got her calmed down after about an hour. That night I had to listen to her scream and cry for her "Nookie" and I had to stay in her room until she fell asleep. Same the next night. Then, one night we came home and she saw her broken pacifier on my dresser and she said, "Nookie is broken, trash." So, I gave her the pacifier and she gently placed it in the palm of her hand. Then she slowly, very slowly, walked to the trash can. I opened the lid and she looked at her pacifier and said, "Bye bye Nookie," then dropped it in the trash and slowly closed the lid. I felt like we had just had a funeral for her best friend, her "Nookie."

Since that night she's gone to bed pretty good and doesn't seem to need her pacifier. She asks for it sometimes, but she always tells me that it's broken. I say, yes it is broken, then she doesn't ask for it anymore. I thought it was adorable how she dealt with the loss of her favorite addiction.