She's 2 Now

Gina inspired me to write a few things that Sierra says or does that I think are precious.

Sierra turned two on October 5, 2005 and since then she has started saying "min" a.k.a. "mine." She doesn't just say it, she gives a dirty look to go with it. The other day I asked her to stop doing something and she told me "no, don dink so" (no, don't think so). She has also caught on to when I tell the kitty to not do stuff, like when he scratches at the doors. She tells him, "no, kitty, no, git down," very sternly. I thought it was precious when I sneezed the other day and she said, "bess Ooo."

Sierra loves to laugh and giggle. I wish I had a recording of her laugh, because it's not your typical toddler laugh. Her laugh sounds grown up. I love the way she gets right in my face and says "hi" then laughs. I also love that she's starting to want to snuggle with me. If I'm on the couch, she'll come up and lay her head on my lap and just snuggle with me. When she's laying down watching a video, she'll pat the pillow and gesture that I should lay next to her. Then she turns to face me and snuggles with me. She'll snuggle and talk about the video in her little language, it's so cute!

I don't want to forget to mention that, out of nowhere, Sierra can read and say the numbers 1-10. NO ONE taught her this, she just learned on her own. I think this proves that Baby Einstien works and isn't just a mindless video. My friends think that Sierra is one smart girl...so do I.
She's very unique and I couldn't have asked for a better kid!

Sierra in Sepia

I take so many pictures of Sierra in the tub because she's so happy there...not to mention she can't run away and ruin my picture. I was playing around with my camera and decided to use the Sepia color option. I think these pictures turned out well. My favorite is the top one. I love this little girl!
What a cutie pie! You gotta love that precious face!
This last picture is just funny! I caught her mid-movement, so it looks like she's cross-eyed.

I didn't plan anything elaborate for Sierra's birthday. In fact, I didn't plan anything at all. At the last second I called a couple friends and had them over for lasagna and cake. But, that didn't matter, because Sierra seem to some how know the whole day was about her. She wasn't interested in her cake at all and I practically had to force feed her to get a couple pictures. She just wanted to play with her toys and run around. I'm glad she had a good time.

Sorry All

Lately my life has been really busy. I don't get home from work until 6:30pm, so I only get a few hours with Sierra on the weekdays. She goes to bed at 8 pm and then I relax. By 8pm I'm so tired that I forget to post and even if I'm not tired, I'm to lazy to do it. I guess what I'm saying is, sorry for not posting.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is being a single mom. Excuse me for a moment while I jump on my soap box here... It's just now that Justin is in Iraq and I'm left to care for Sierra on my own, it's been really difficult. My family lives no where near me and even though I have fabulous friends, they don't care for Sierra as much as family would. I can't explain how alone I feel right now. I never get a moment to myself because I can never find a babysitter. Even if I could, I couldn't afford one. I work Saturdays and finding someone to care for Sierra has been a nightmare! Lately, I get to about Thursday and then I scramble to find a friend to watch Sierra on Saturday. Also, on my reserve weekend I work Saturday and Sunday...you can imagine how hard it is to find someone willing to give up their whole weekend and get up at 6 am both days, just to watch my kid! Luckily my visiting teachers have stepped up along with a few friends, but I feel bad about putting them out and always being a charity case.

Which brings me to just that... being a charity case. Ever since Justin asked me for the divorce I've been nothing but a burden to my friends. At least that's how I feel. I always need someone to help with Sierra. I never have time or money to go out. In the beginning, I was down and talked about my sad feelings all the time ( I don't do that now, but I'm sure it sucked when I did ). I still feel like this, now it's always needing a babysitter and never having time for my friends, having to ask the church for help, having to ask my visiting teachers for help...always something!

I totally want a nice husband, just so I have someone to help out. But, I don't wanna date and I'm not ready to care about someone else or fall in love. So, I guess finding someone isn't gonna happen any time soon.

Not to mention... about 90% of my time is spent with just a 2 year old for company. Needless to say there's not a lot of deep conversation going on there.

Okay, enough. There .. I'm off my soap box. I feel better. Thanks for listening.