Sorry everyone

Sierra in the tub looking all grown-up. So, it's been quite a while since I've blogged, and I apologize for that. I recently started school again and it has demanded a lot of my time...I mean, ALL my time. Sierra has grown signifacently since my last blog, as you can see in the following photos. Her mind has also been doing some growing and here are a few things she has learned or said in the past few months:

• She can read and say her alphabet.
• She can count to 20, although she usually skips 12 and 19.
• She can count things, like her toes or her fingers, etc...which is really impressive.
• She likes to tell me when things are "cute." Example: "Little toy, cute toy." Apparently all small things are cute.
• She likes to brush my hair and tell me that I'm pretty.
• She likes to brush Tony's hair, but he's not to fond of it.
• She tattles on Tony all the time and she always complains that he hit her (he swats at her harmlessly sometimes). After I kiss her "wound" she then tells Tony to go to Time-Out.
• Time-out is my choice of discipline with her and she really responds to it. She doesn't even try to get out of it and I don't let her until she says that she understands what she did wrong.
• She likes to swim like a fish in the bathtub.
• She's begginning to say "Mine" or "My" a lot. Ecspecially when other children approach me or climb on me, she'll say "My mommy!"
• She's extremely independent and likes to play with her blocks or read to herself...ecspecially inside her little tent in her room.
• She is really into cuddling now.
• She knows some Spanish, which is weird.

Okay, that's just a few things, I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them at the moment. Enjoy the pictures....

Jaxson at the Dollar Store with a cheap safari hat on...he's so cute!

In December, right after a bath.

In December, what a nice profile.
Now that is some crazy hair!!!
Tony, after a hard day of doing nothing.

Bye Bye Nookie

Sierra has been sucking on a pacifier since she was born. She loves her "Nookie," as she calls it. About a month ago I noticed a rash above her upper lip. The rash just wouldn't go away no matter what I used on it, so I took Sierra to the doctor. He said it was a rash caused by a fungus which probably grew at night on her lip because of the pacifier. He told me I would have to take her "Nookie" away. His exact words were, "Heidi, it will be hard, but deal with it." So, that day I tried not giving her her pacifier. At night I broke down and gave it to her. The same thing happened the next day. Then my mom said that it wasn't Sierra's addiction, it was mine and I knew she was right.

I was so used to giving Sierra her pacifier to calm her down that I gave in every time she asked for it (I mean whined for it). So, Tuesday night she started crying for her "Nookie" and she was getting mad that I wouldn't give it to her, so I went to get it. On my way to the kitchen I felt that I should just kill the "Nookie." So, I took some scissors and cut the nipple off the pacifier, then I took it to her. She was still mad and crying and then when she saw the pacifier in my hand she got a little quiet. She took the pacifier and reallized it wasn't the same. I told her that her pacifier was broken and now there's no more pacifier. She tried to put it in her mouth, but it didn't work. Then she started crying again, only this time it was a very sad cry. It was like she was mourning the loss of her best friend. She just kept crying, "Nookie! Nookie!" I finally got her calmed down after about an hour. That night I had to listen to her scream and cry for her "Nookie" and I had to stay in her room until she fell asleep. Same the next night. Then, one night we came home and she saw her broken pacifier on my dresser and she said, "Nookie is broken, trash." So, I gave her the pacifier and she gently placed it in the palm of her hand. Then she slowly, very slowly, walked to the trash can. I opened the lid and she looked at her pacifier and said, "Bye bye Nookie," then dropped it in the trash and slowly closed the lid. I felt like we had just had a funeral for her best friend, her "Nookie."

Since that night she's gone to bed pretty good and doesn't seem to need her pacifier. She asks for it sometimes, but she always tells me that it's broken. I say, yes it is broken, then she doesn't ask for it anymore. I thought it was adorable how she dealt with the loss of her favorite addiction.

Well, I had a bunch of pictures but I can't find them.. I'll have to post them later. But, here's a picture of my little girl in her jammies. She knows how to unzip things and get out of her pajamas now. In fact, the other night I heard her in her room making loud noises, so I went in the check on her. I found her completely naked, standing in her crib. When I approached her she handed me her diaper and said, "naked." I assured her that she was very naked. Then I put her clothes back on her.. I think she was wearing the pajamas shown above. Anyway, I thought she was pretty smart trying to get out of bed time by taking her clothes off.

I thought it would be fun to sneak up on Sierra while she was reading in her tent. It's so cute when she reads to herself. She pretends that someone else is there and points out the pictures on each page. Lately she's been saying the cutest stuff

Happy Thanksgiving

On Thanksgiving day Sierra helped me and a friend finish painting my living room. Then we ate Boiled Dinner a moist ameretto cake. Afterwards we went to the annual Festival of Trees, which is a fundraiser put on by St. Alphonsus hospital. The trees were just beautiful! Sierra had fun looking at all the lights and playing with the stuffed animals in the gift shop. Of course her favorite stuffed animal was this huge teddy bear that cost $275.00! Apparently, she has her mom's expensive taste.
This was one of the trees that the local radio stations decorated...isn't it funny?

(This was my favorite tree, it was decorated in a pretty blue and white coloring, but the picture doesn't do it justice.)

Fun With Talisha and Family

My friend, Talisha, and her boyfriend, watched Sierra one Saturday while I was at work. They went to the zoo with their children and some family. I guess Sierra was very well behaved and had a good time. After I got back to pick up Sierra, Talisha's son, Jaxson, and Sierra took a bath and then we hung out for a while. It was a fun day and I'm grateful to have such great friends!

(Talisha and Jaxson)

Tyson's brother. (Tyson is Talisha's boyfriend)

Fun time with mommy.

My friend, Talisha, took some pictures of us swimming in August. She just now downloaded them off her camera and gave them to me. So, here's a few cute pictures of Sierra and me.
What a fun day!

This little boat was a big hit with the kiddos!

Sierra just loved pushing this little table around the pool. Rearranging furniture is a favorite game of hers.

She's 2 Now

Gina inspired me to write a few things that Sierra says or does that I think are precious.

Sierra turned two on October 5, 2005 and since then she has started saying "min" a.k.a. "mine." She doesn't just say it, she gives a dirty look to go with it. The other day I asked her to stop doing something and she told me "no, don dink so" (no, don't think so). She has also caught on to when I tell the kitty to not do stuff, like when he scratches at the doors. She tells him, "no, kitty, no, git down," very sternly. I thought it was precious when I sneezed the other day and she said, "bess Ooo."

Sierra loves to laugh and giggle. I wish I had a recording of her laugh, because it's not your typical toddler laugh. Her laugh sounds grown up. I love the way she gets right in my face and says "hi" then laughs. I also love that she's starting to want to snuggle with me. If I'm on the couch, she'll come up and lay her head on my lap and just snuggle with me. When she's laying down watching a video, she'll pat the pillow and gesture that I should lay next to her. Then she turns to face me and snuggles with me. She'll snuggle and talk about the video in her little language, it's so cute!

I don't want to forget to mention that, out of nowhere, Sierra can read and say the numbers 1-10. NO ONE taught her this, she just learned on her own. I think this proves that Baby Einstien works and isn't just a mindless video. My friends think that Sierra is one smart girl...so do I.
She's very unique and I couldn't have asked for a better kid!

Sierra in Sepia

I take so many pictures of Sierra in the tub because she's so happy there...not to mention she can't run away and ruin my picture. I was playing around with my camera and decided to use the Sepia color option. I think these pictures turned out well. My favorite is the top one. I love this little girl!
What a cutie pie! You gotta love that precious face!
This last picture is just funny! I caught her mid-movement, so it looks like she's cross-eyed.

I didn't plan anything elaborate for Sierra's birthday. In fact, I didn't plan anything at all. At the last second I called a couple friends and had them over for lasagna and cake. But, that didn't matter, because Sierra seem to some how know the whole day was about her. She wasn't interested in her cake at all and I practically had to force feed her to get a couple pictures. She just wanted to play with her toys and run around. I'm glad she had a good time.

Sorry All

Lately my life has been really busy. I don't get home from work until 6:30pm, so I only get a few hours with Sierra on the weekdays. She goes to bed at 8 pm and then I relax. By 8pm I'm so tired that I forget to post and even if I'm not tired, I'm to lazy to do it. I guess what I'm saying is, sorry for not posting.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is being a single mom. Excuse me for a moment while I jump on my soap box here... It's just now that Justin is in Iraq and I'm left to care for Sierra on my own, it's been really difficult. My family lives no where near me and even though I have fabulous friends, they don't care for Sierra as much as family would. I can't explain how alone I feel right now. I never get a moment to myself because I can never find a babysitter. Even if I could, I couldn't afford one. I work Saturdays and finding someone to care for Sierra has been a nightmare! Lately, I get to about Thursday and then I scramble to find a friend to watch Sierra on Saturday. Also, on my reserve weekend I work Saturday and Sunday...you can imagine how hard it is to find someone willing to give up their whole weekend and get up at 6 am both days, just to watch my kid! Luckily my visiting teachers have stepped up along with a few friends, but I feel bad about putting them out and always being a charity case.

Which brings me to just that... being a charity case. Ever since Justin asked me for the divorce I've been nothing but a burden to my friends. At least that's how I feel. I always need someone to help with Sierra. I never have time or money to go out. In the beginning, I was down and talked about my sad feelings all the time ( I don't do that now, but I'm sure it sucked when I did ). I still feel like this, now it's always needing a babysitter and never having time for my friends, having to ask the church for help, having to ask my visiting teachers for help...always something!

I totally want a nice husband, just so I have someone to help out. But, I don't wanna date and I'm not ready to care about someone else or fall in love. So, I guess finding someone isn't gonna happen any time soon.

Not to mention... about 90% of my time is spent with just a 2 year old for company. Needless to say there's not a lot of deep conversation going on there.

Okay, enough. There .. I'm off my soap box. I feel better. Thanks for listening.